So with the terrorific twos on the verge in our house I have been wondering if I am really up for the job of parenting a toddler while having a newborn. While tantrums have been present in our house for a few months now, yesterday took the cake and now that I can reflect on it I think Why, what if, could I have, should I have, and how can I make this stop.
Annabelle has been very good at asserting her Independence since she started her big-girl daycare. While I love watching her do "Flipparoo" to put on her coat, and watching her put her Pajama's on all by herself, it seems this Independence comes with a price. The majority of the time I can let her go at her own pace or wear whatever she wants but being a working mom, there are 2 times a day when we cannot take 45 minutes to get out the door; On the way to Daycare and on the way home. So I guess the challenge now is figuring out how to allow her to be independent while getting out the door in a timely fashion. I will figure it out but in the meantime...
These days anything can turn from great to bad in the blink of an eye. Anna can be having the most wonderful day and I look at her wrong and she is set off into a fit of screaming and crying. Yesterday we sat on the sidewalk outside her daycare for 20 minutes while she tantrumed because she didn't want to get in to her carseat. When she finally got in the carseat, she cried all the way home and the whole time I made supper. She threw toys around the kitchen and refused anything I offered her to try and make her feel better. Seriously at that point she could have gotten anything from me. When all was said and done, I needed to get out. I had a meeting to go to and was happy to be leaving her in the patient arms of her papa. When I said goodbye, She wrapped her food covered hands around me and gave me a big kiss. I left with a big smile on my face and a pounding headache as I tried to piece together the evenings events and the confusing end result.
I have had moments I am not proud off when I have raised my voice or thought about turning back time to before being a mom. I have let these moments ruin my day while I thought about how terrible a person I am. But now I realize I am not terrible, I am human, and is it reasonable to expect me to be perfect for 6,660 days (that is how many days are left until my unborn son turns 18) while I experience the most stressful second full-time job a woman can have!
Am I ready for this? Am I ready for the unexplainable tantrums and inability to tell me what is wrong? Well, Ready or Not....
The following link is to an article about tantrums that another wonderful Mommy sent me. I found it very useful in understanding this process http://www.mothering.com/parenting/cry-connection-fresh-approach-tantrums
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